Sunday, December 19, 2010

Merry Christmas

This holiday season brings good news! Not only good news of the birth of our Lord Jesus but good news that I am still cancer free. The MRI results are good and there are no signs of cancer. No words can express the Joy I feel knowing my journey has almost come to an end. My face has healed and the cancer is gone. This will be the first holiday in almost two years that we will be able to celebrate without fear and worry. What a wonderful feeling!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my Surgical Oncologist to discuss the options for fixing my face. This will be the last and final step in my journey and it will not be easy. I have a feeling all of my options will be difficult and the recovery will take a long time. I am going to take some time to think about what the best options are that pose the least amount of risk. And I will make sure that I am mentally and physically ready to endure another difficult surgery.

This Christmas I will be counting my blessings and thanking God for getting me through one of the most difficult times in my life. I will be cherishing the moment I get to watch my girls get up Christmas morning with the anticipation of seeing what Santa put under the Christmas tree. And the time I will get to spend with my family on Christmas day and celebrating being cancer free.

One of the traditions Jason, Mackenzie, Kendall and I have on Christmas Eve is to watch the movie the Polar Express. This movie is truly magical and I love the theme it suggests of Believing. Because of experiencing the effects of Santa (the North Pole, toy factories, reindeer etc...) the little boy in the movie overcomes his disbelief, slowly changes his mind and starts to believe in the existence of Santa. With this belief, the boy was finally able to hear the ringing of the bells on Santa's sleigh. Throughout my battle with cancer, I experienced the effect of God's hand in my life: the abundance of love and support from friends and family, messages of hope through God's word, and strength when I needed it most. It is because of this experience I am a true believer in God and his existence. Even though I have had a relationship with God for most of my life, just like the boy in the movie I can finally hear the bells.

Believe in what your heart is saying,
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste,
There so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need, if you just Believe.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Believe in the magic and miracles it brings!

With Love,

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It is definitely the most wonderful time of the year! The Karrmann household is embracing the spirit of Christmas more than ever this year. A day does not go by without Christmas music playing on the radio in the house or in the car. The decorations have been up since the week before Thanksgiving. And the Christmas shopping is finally done.

Buttons, the family elf, has visited our house once again. His stay begins on December 1st until December 24th when he goes back to the North Pole to stay and help Santa get ready for next year's Christmas. Each night he flies back to the North Pole to report back to Santa how the girls are behaving and in the morning reappears in a new location in our house. Mackenzie and Kendall look forward to waking up every morning and looking for where Buttons is hiding for that day. Sometimes they find Buttons in the same place as he was the day before and Jason and I need to quickly come up with an explanation as to why he hasn't moved. Yet, Mackenzie and Kendall still believe that Buttons is real. It is amazing how their belief in Santa and Buttons does not waiver and that their existence is never questioned. Somedays I feel so guilty about not telling Mackenzie and Kendall the truth, but I just can't shatter their belief quite yet. Someone told me once that a child's belief in Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy helps to build a solid foundation in their belief in God - it helps them to have faith in what is not seen. And I believe this is true. My prayer for my children is that their belief in God will always be as strong as their belief in Santa.

This type of faith is definitely a challenge as my next MRI looms around the corner. I thought I would be calm and collected, but I am a bundle of nerves. I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan no matter what the results are. I pray the results are good...but if they are not I am praying for strength to face what is in store for me. My MRI is scheduled for next Wednesday at 11:15. I am hoping I will get the results as quickly as I did last time. Until then, I will go on celebrating the holiday season and enjoying the happiness and joy it is brought to our house.

Love to you all,