Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I have...

I have anger.
I have hopelessness.
I have fear.
I have questions.
I have disappointment.
I have a hard road ahead.
I still have cancer.

WHERE ARE YOU GOD???????

Surgery will be the next step and it is not going to be an easy one. It will be a procedure that will take all day. Incisions will be made in my face to remove the cancer. Massive reconstruction will be done to repair it. I will be in Intensive Care for 3 days with my entire stay lasting up to 10 days. If the cancer is still in the orbit of my eye, they will have to take out my eye. I will know more on Friday.


21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Sue, I am so very sorry. I don't even know what to say except that I love you and am praying for you.
Suzie

Anonymous said...

God is still there....still on the throne....still in control. Why did He allow this? We may never know this side of heaven. He never promised us a pain free life but He did promise to walk with us thru it....to carry us when needed. Give Him all your anger, pain, questions, tears, questions. He can handle it. In return He will flood your soul with peace.

Praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Oh Sue. I don't even know what to say. I'm so, so sorry. I'll continue praying for you. God does have a plan in this, even though none of us can even begin to see it or remotely figure out WHY this is happening. But we must trust. That's all we can do.

Love,
Jennie K.

mebeling said...

I'm so sorry! You are surrounded by love and support and you will not go through this alone. Let the arms of your loved ones wrap around you and hold you up until you can stand on your own.

Anonymous said...

You are doing exactly what God wants you to be doing Sue. You are crying out to him in your utter helplessness. Keep on crying out to him with everything you've got. Only He can restore you. I don't get it either and I am crying out for you as well. We will be on our knees for you in the days and weeks to come.

Julie Dahl

Anonymous said...

Sue,

I am thinking of you this week. Don't forget we have a 10K to run in the Spring. We made a deal, and I know you'll stick to it!

Love and hugs,
-Katie T.

Anonymous said...

Sue - our thoughts, prayers and love is all to you. May God enfold you during these days and may you feel his presence. You are the focus of our prayers.
Love
the Teskey's

Anonymous said...

Sue, I have been praying for you, I've been praying for you since last April when a woman from church to told me about you, I didn't even know your name, but I just felt that I had to pray for you every day. I still keep praying for you every day, I'll continue to pray for you every day. I don't know why this isn't over yet, I wish I could give you some answer. All I know is that God does have some plan and I know he's with you, Isaiah 41:10, "for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Give God your hand and he'll hold it and he'll help you through this. But, I also think that you have every right to be angry and confused and you can and should yell at God, he'll still love you anyways. I'm still hanging onto the hope that you will heal, and that you will get your normal life back, it's just going to take longer than everyone was hoping.
I met you on Halloween, you still look cute, and from everything I've read from you, I do believe that you've handled cancer with grace. I think you are a beautiful person, keep holding onto God, keep holding onto hope. I'm still convinced I'll see you out running again, I'm still not running, maybe I'll wait to run until you're running too. I'm sorry, I'm so very very sorry, I'll keep praying and praying and praying...
Andrea Wackerfuss

Anonymous said...

Sue....
I know the fear...I know the anger....I know the pain...But dear friend hang in there.
I don't pretend to say that I never wanted to just give up because I did...But God really had a better plan. For me Joy now overshadows the impairments that the cancer has thrust on me. Why? Because I still have value for my family and friends. I have purpose and you do too Girl!
We both know that the road we travel is ours alone....everyone wants to share our pain but they can't. But the awsome power of God is with us....yes He will be with you on this journey...trust me on this!!! But I know for you today simply sucks!
Please let me know how I can help.
Love You....Pat

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Sue. Words are so inadequate now. Lord, you know this wonderful girl's anguish. Please give her something to be hopeful about! Barbara in Texas

Anonymous said...

Sue, We continue to pray for you earnestly. Much love to you and your family.

Jeff and Cindi

The O'Briens said...

Sharing in your anger.
Sharing in your disappointment.
Praying for your hard road ahead.

~Jeni O'Brien

Jeremy, Michelle, and Girls said...

We love you Sue! I don't know why this has happened, but I know that you have so much more life to live. This is so hard, yucky, and just plain unfair! Don't question God though, follow him. He will help you through this! You are amazing. I thank God for you every day.

Michelle and Jeremy

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon your blog when a friend told me about your fight with cancer. I'll continue to pray. It seems extremely shallow to say I'm so very sorry, but I am. I'm glad you're physically stronger now as you go into another battle. You are truly at war with a fierce disease. A war you didn't ask for but that's what it is nonetheless. Put on your shield of armo, the Living God, and fight, fight, fight!

Anonymous said...

Sue~

I can't say I know how you feel, or how upset you are. But what I can say is stay strong and know that God is with you! Everyday I go for a walk and each time I pass your house, I say a little prayer for you. I don't know you or anything, I just have heard your story thru a neighbor whom I happen to know. Don't let this cancer get the best of you because you are so strong and just amazing. My prayers for you will be with you through out this. You will overcome this, and the strength of prayer will help you each and every day!

"He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me"

mimi charmante said...

Hey girlie,
You know I am thinking of you and wishing I was closer.
I am always here if you need anything at all.
xx
K.

Todd Hitchcock said...

Sue,

I just knocked on our Daddy's door. He opened it and we had a good chat. It's amazing how much He loves us. We cannot comprehend it. He assures me that although we can't see the perfect plan He has for us, he does love us deeply. He is sitting with you, holding your hand and comforting you.

He reminded me of the time when Jesus was in the boat with the disciples and the storm came. In one moment, when all was thought to be lost, the fear turned to worship.

Sue, you help us all to look at life from a very intrinsic perspective. We are considering what is most important in life. We are looking at our families in a different light. We are considering our own faith and asking God to strengthen yours. We are moved by your journey and pray for strength for the paths God may lay before each of us.

You are an inspiration to us all and we join with you in prayer, with love and support in every way we can.

Todd.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Sue. You are in my prayers. You will overcome this!
Megan

Anonymous said...

Sue,

You continue to be in my prayers. I know the news is devastating, and I know you need many prayers now and in the coming days.

Love,
Dani

Anonymous said...

Dear Sue,
I read your blog update last night and was just devastated. I know how much you needed for this chapter to be over after everything you and your family have already been through. I have so many things I wish I can find the words to say as you begin this next phase of the battle. I will pray for the skilled hand of the surgeon, your faith and stamina, your family. Most of all I pray for your future to be cancer free. Your friends are here to support you in every way.

Much love,

Toni

prashant said...

We cannot comprehend it. He assures me that although we can't see the perfect plan He has for us, he does love us deeply.

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