Well, I can finally say things are progressing. Not necessarily as fast as I want them to. But I am starting to see changes which is something I needed to see happen allowing me to feel that I am heading towards living a somewhat normal life again. I am on my feet more and more and being able to spend more time with those around me...especially the girls. Yesterday, I was able to go to the dentist with Mackenzie. She had chipped her two front teeth in a minor biking accident. It was good for me to be able to go with her to be a source of comfort while she was getting them fixed. And I must say she was such a trouper. After getting home from the appointment I sat outside watching Mackenzie ride her bike while playing a few rounds of go fish with Kendall. It was wonderful. I even had a chance to visit with a couple of my good friends in the neighborhood I have not seen for a long time.
After my appointments on Monday, we determined that it was time to start weaning myself off of the pain medications. I am not in as much pain as I used to be. I am so excited to, some day, be done with these meds so that I can be clear headed again and be able to drive my car! I had a visit with my Surgical Oncologist and he was able to clear out my sinuses and right ear to give me some temporary relief from the mucus and drainage. It is still there, but not as severe. He prescribed a steroid nasal spray that is helping with the inflammation. However, I can't wait for the day until I can wake up in the morning and not have to clean out my mouth and nose from what drained during the night.
I am still working hard on eating more and more. The goal is to start cutting down on the tube feedings. My mouth is still tender so it will be a slow process. I am still holding out for a miracle that by next week I will be eating better. I so desperately want to go to the State Fair and have theat footlong corndog!!! I don't know if it is going to happen, but I am going to cross my fingers.
Although my energy level is picking up a bit, I do find myself taking naps during the day. I get tired very easily. So it is no surprise after my busy day yesterday, I am pooped out today. Luckily a dear friend had the girls over for a playdate today so I am able to catch up on some of my rest.
As for my mental state...I am still working hard on BELIEVING. I am given messages all around me from things I am reading or from encouragement from friends to BELIEVE that I can be healed. I still have moments where I freak out and think this may not be over and I might have a long road ahead of me. But I try not to stay in these moments of negative thinking too long. I know God is telling me to believe. To believe in his power to heal and his love for me. These messages to believe are overwhelmingly and almost in my face. Is someone trying to tell me something? I am blessed to have a few people in my life that have felt the Holy Spirit telling them that I will be healed and come out of this just fine. I certainly hope they are right. But the nice thing is, when I have my freak out moments, I go to these specific people for a source of comfort.
So would it be wrong to ask you all to pray for my mouth to be completely healed by next week so I can go to the State Fair and enjoy some of the great good it has to offer? Well, if it feels funny to pray for that, please continue to pray for healing...complete healing. And pray that the progress of my healing continues to pick up pace and that the side effects will end soon.
Blessings to you all,