Second Biopsy Tomorrow

I woke up this morning in a panic as I started to think about the biopsy tomorrow. It came way too fast. What happened to these last four weeks? I am not sure how I feel about it. I sometimes feel that everything is going to be OK. But then the "what ifs" start to enter into my mind and I get scared at the possibility that they may find that the cancer is still there. Oh how I wish it was simple to let go and let God. This is NOT easy.

I spent some time reading my Bible this morning. Immediately I turned to the verse in Psalms that God gave to me when I was first diagnosed. In this Psalms, David was remembering the miracles of long ago that God performed in his life bringing him hope as he faced his current struggles. When I was diagnosed, it was a reminder of how God miraculously saved Mackenzie's life. Remembering the power God demonstrated during her birth and time spent in the NICU gave me hope. How ironic that I happened to turn directly to this Psalms again as I am approaching the end of my treatment. Then, I turned directly to a verse in Leviticus. It is a verse that talks about God's compassion as never failing and how it is new every morning. Another encouragement that God will again show his compassion to me tomorrow morning while I go through the biopsy. I am doing the best I can today to cling to this encouragement God gave me this morning. I am trying not to second guess it, which can be easy to do. Was it a mere coincidence that I happened to turn directly to these passages?

My biopsy is scheduled for 7:40 am. The first surgery of the day. Please pray for peace before surgery, wisdom for my doctor and a speedy recovery. And most of all pray for a negative biopsy!!! I am assuming my doctor will have a Pathologist in the operating room with him once again so we should get quick results. Let's hope the Pathologist doesn't make a mistake this time. I will update all of you as soon as I can.