Monday, September 7, 2009

Downhill

Remember that rollercoaster I was talking about? I am still on it....and currently I am on the downhill. These past few days have been tough for me. Several things have happened these past few days that have been discouraging causing me to have a lot of fear and no hope. I am so afraid this is never going to end...will I ever beat this? Will I ever get better? Will these side effects ever go away? Right now I am having hard time believing that life will ever get back to normal.

I am again missing out on activities I enjoy doing or spending time with friends and family. I was unable to go to the neighbor's campfire this weekend because I was too tired. And today, I attempted to do another activity that I look forward to every year....the apple orchard. I was so excited to go. Unfortunately, just as we were about to board the wagon to head out to the orchards I started to feel horrible. I had to go sit down and I tried so hard to overcome feelings of passing out and nausea. It didn't happen. So I had to go and sit in the car until everyone came back from the orchards. I was so disappointed and frustrated. I am so SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please pray for me.......




9 comments:

Cheri Mueller said...

Dearest Sue,

I can only imagine how eager you are to resume life as you once knew it! You're a go-getter, a "can-do" girl, and you've always seized life by the horns.

But there truly is a blessing to slowing life down a bit.

Be patient with yourself! You've accomplished a major victory by getting to the State Fair. Celebrate it! Savor it! Let that carry you for awhile! In the same way that you chose not to "rush" around the fair in normal "fast-forward" mode, but cherished being with your family, maybe each day could be the same?

You ARE recovering, Sue. You're doing it! Just remember that you're like a new butterfly with wobbly wings. (Ask Jason what Mushroom looked like when he took flight). Newborn Monarchs only fly short distances, and almost appear as if they're going to drop out of the sky because they're so wet-winged and weak. But, eventually, they find the strength to migrate all the way to Mexico!

I will pray for peace and patience and God-given wisdom as to the pace of your days, Sue.
I know you're frustrated and disappointed, but you WILL get there! It's slow-going now, but someday -- Mexico, baby!


Love,

Cheri

Anonymous said...

Praying for strength! Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue,
I'm still praying for you. I still believe that God will heal you, you just have to believe it too. I'm sorry the healing process is so slow and frusterating, but the end and your rewards will come.
Your always in my prayers,
Andrea Wackerfuss

Anonymous said...

I know it's hard to sit back and watch life going by but don't forget to be thankful for how far you have come. Don't let the negative of the moment cloud the fact that you have come a long way from where you were a month ago. It didn't take you a few days to get this week and it's going to take time for you to get back to normal. Just remember to Believe and to be thankful for the small stuff. You can't stop pushing but you also have to concentrate on the postive when you can't reach your goals quite yet. Look at what you have accomplished Sue. You will get there, just not today or tomorrow.

Susan Thomas

Anonymous said...

Jesus loves me this I know
for the Bible tells me so
little ones to Him belong
they are weak but HE IS STRONG.

Yes, Jesus Loves Me
Yes, Jesus Loves Me
Yes, Jesus Loves Me
The Bible tells me so.

Lovely,

A praying friend

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue,
I haven't read your blogs for a couple weeks now and I am overjoyed to see what progress you've made! I know you are still on a roller coaster but you have made MASSIVE strides and you are on the upswing FOR SURE! The last time I really read your blog you had listed all the things you miss ~ like a Diet Coke with a lime and now look at you, eating all sorts of junk at the fair! Woo hoo! You have come a long way!
Keep it up!

Anonymous said...

Remember...no expectations. And you WENT! You WENT! Yay!!! You WENT!

Much Love,
Jami Helvick

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Sue. You will soon be off this rollercoaster. Praying for your strength and recovery.
xoxo
Cindy

Linda said...

Dear Sue . . I have followed your blog from the beginning. I think you are a person who can visualize. Visualize yourself healthy, visualize yourself running with your girls, visualize dancing with your husband, visualize driving to visit school, see yourself in every detail doing these things. Only positive thoughts. It will work for you. I will continue to pray for you to become stronger and stronger and for you to visualize every detail of yourself being healthy. Linda Engebretson