This entry will be brief....I need sometime to process the news I just received.
The results of the scans were not what I was hoping for. There is an infection and inflammation and a couple of spots that are questionable. My surgeon wants to go back in and take a look around. He will remove a portion of the mesh that is infected and check to make sure the questionable areas are not cancerous. He is hopeful it is not cancer because the cancer is slow growing and he cannot imagine it would have grown that much in such a short amount of time. The surgery will most likely be scheduled for next week.
I am very upset, disappointed, scared and angry. Facing yet another surgery is hard for me. I am so emotionally exhausted that I am finding it hard to fight on. I just wish for once I could just get good news without complications. In the past, when the doctor has said it could just be infection and inflammation it has turned out to be cancer. So I don't have a lot of confidence right now. I feel like the rug has been yanked out from underneath my feet.
We could use your prayers. I am going to need a supernatural strength to get through this next hurdle. My family is also exhausted from all of this. Mackenzie is having some emotional issues from the stress of this past year. When will this all end? When will we catch a break? How much more can we take? I am feeling like this is never going to end.
Sue
10 comments:
Sue,
I'm so, so sorry. I don't really even know what to say, as I just can't fathom what you all are going through. Do know that I am praying for you. God's will is still in this, and there is a greater purpose, as you know. It just really sucks that it's so hard to see that right now. Hang in there, dear friend! You are loved!
Love,
Jennie K.
Oh Sue, I am so sorry to hear that news. I will keep praying for you and your family. You have been so strong and I know you will get through this too! When we don't feel we can go on, God gives us that supernatural strength. Love,
Maryann Raese
Praying and praying and praying for you and for your family. We pray that the surgery goes well, that the results are good, and that you can go on to recover quickly.
Jeff and Cindi
Sue, We are devastated, with you, to hear this news. We pray that the Dr's will take care of the infection once and for all, and anything else. You continue to inspire all of us who continue to believe in your healing and that diagnosis of "survivor" you have survived and will continue to do so many many many years....be strong and take strength from those around you. Thinking of you in Wisconsin...Kari Karrmann Sides
Sue...I am just sickened to hear about this...I'm so sorry and don't know what to do except to keep you and your family in our prayers...I am sure that you and your family are tired of the stress...you have had more than your fair share certainly...please know there are so many of around the area (and world) who support you and want this to be behind you as soon as possible! Jen Fortner
Sue,
My heart breaks for you. I will continue to pray!
Mary
I hate to see you going through this Sue. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please, if there is ANYTHING I can do, let me know. Be brave and believe Sue. I know it's hard.
With love,
Susan Thomas
Dearest Sue,
I had to take some time to gather my thoughts and emotions. To say I am deeply saddened by your news is an understatement. I hurt for you. I cry for you. I thank God for you and for the example you have been to me and to many others. I don't know why God is allowing this or what He is doing in this situation. I know God is faithful and Jesus never fails. I not only believe in miracles, I expect and hope, and am waiting to witness one in you!
In Beth Moore's bible study Esther, she talked about facing fears of any kind. She asked us to fill in the blank-
AND IF______________, THEN GOD! (will take care of me)
She gave many examples of how when you name the fear you go through the process of dealing with it and at the end of all the emotions-tears, anger, disbelief, disappointment, hopelessness, depression, but then finally you can say "IF __________, THEN GOD! You truly rest in Him. He won't let you fall any farther- He will catch you and hold you. You don't deny the problem/fear- you face it head on. What you do is deny the authority it has over you! Courage comes from a heart that is convinced it is loved.
Psalm 62:5-7
I wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
Sue, I read an amazing book called " When I Lay My Isaac Down" by Carol Kent. As in the book by Nancy, this story is different than yours, but how she deals with the pain and suffering is inspiring. She mentioned in her book the idea of Stretcher Bearers. She took this from Luke 5:17-26 where the friends of the paraplegic carried him on a stretcher to see Jesus so He could heal him. They couldn't get close to Jesus due to the crowds so they lowered him down from the roof. Jesus was impressed by their boldness and their belief and He healed him.
Sue the purpose of a stretcher bearer is to help carry the burden. To carry a stretcher it takes more than one person. Sue please know that you have many "stretcher bearers" who are carrying you to the throne of Jesus. Know that when the burden and pain is sometimes too much- you are being "carried" to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Sue there is POWER in the christian body of Christ. May you feel that power and love. We will continue to lift you up even when you are weary.
I will leave you with two quotes.
"A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." Anonymous
Don't stop singing Sue...
"Our broken lives are not lost or useless. God's love is still working. He comes in and takes the calamity and uses it victoriously, working out His wonderful plan of love." Eric Liddell
Sue, God is still working...
Love and prayers,
Nikki
Keeping you in my prayers - May God's strength be yours.
I promise this will make your children stronger. Your suffering will get them through hurdles in life they never dreamed of.
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