Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The end is near

There is an end in sight! Yesterday I received wonderful news...after much discussion among a group of Radiologists, it was determined no more biopsies are needed. I am officially cancer free! It hasn't really hit me yet. I think it will take some time to sink in. The fear is probably preventing me from fully embracing this news. My doctors will continue to follow me closely. Another MRI will be scheduled in June. Unfortunately, the journey isn't quite finished...more surgeries are to come.

I had an appointment today with one of my Plastic Surgeons. The incision that was left open when they removed the mesh has enlarged significantly since the surgery. The bone in my face is exposed and air is passing in and out when I breath through my nose. My doctor believes at this point the chances of it closing on its own are minimal because of the radiation and the damage it causes and the risk of the bone dying is greater. I have two options: to give it more time or to have surgery to repair it. As of now I am leaning towards surgery. I don't want to risk losing more bone in my face. And I don't want to spend the next month waiting and wondering if the wound will heal. To repair the hole, they will take skin from in between my eyebrows and move it down. It won't be pretty and it will leave a significant scar. This is hard for me to take as I already feel like my face has enough disfigurement. But it seems like the right thing to do at this point. I am so ready for all of this to be done so that I can move on and enjoy the Summer. After this surgery, I think I will wait to have my cheekbone fixed and my teeth implants put in until this Fall. Please pray for that I will make the right decisions for these surgeries.

As I look back over the events of these past few weeks, I can see God's hand in all of it. And as he promised, I have made it through and am now in remission. I have no one else but God to thank for helping me through it and taking the cancer away. It will be a challenge to not worry and wonder if the cancer is really gone and if it will come back. Each MRI will be difficult for me and the fear will be there. I just have to trust in God and his plan for me. I am not in control.

I have a lot of healing to do now....emotionally and physically. I would appreciate your continued prayers. Please pray for my leg to heal so that I can run again someday. Please pray my face will heal with minimal scars and disfigurement. Please pray my eye will stay up and not fall down. Please pray for the upcoming surgeries...that they are successful and that recovery is quick. Please pray for my family that we will be able to move on from this ordeal and that all of the emotional scars will go away...especially for Mackenzie and Kendall. But most of all, please pray that I will be able to continue trusting in God over the next months and years as the doctors track my health.

As many of you know, I will be participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life on May 14th. The one thing I am looking forward to is walking the "survivors lap" with my Dad. It will be an amazing experience taking that lap around the track knowing that we both fought the fight and won! It has more meaning to me now that I know I am officially cancer free. The type of cancer I have is rare and there is not a lot of data or research on the best way to treat it. This is why it is so important to me to be able to support the American Cancer Society's mission to find a cure for cancer. My hope is that one day it is curable so that none of my friends and family will ever have to go through what I have been through. Our team has reached its fundraising goal, however we now are in the race to be the top fundraising team. We are currently second. If you wish to donate, please click on the link on the top of my blog. And thanks to those of you who have already donated. I am touched by your generosity!!!

I Will continue to keep you updated on my upcoming surgery. I hope to know a date within the next couple of days. Thank you all for your support and prayers and especially for celebrating with me that I am CANCER FREE!!!!!



Anonymous said...


Praise God! Reading your blog has brightened my day, and I am so happy to read that you are cancer free after this long, long journey! I will keep your prayer requests with me and continue to pray. You are so strong, and I greatly admire the battle you've fought.

Blessings to you, Jason, and the girls!

Sabrina said...

Praise the Lord! You will continue to be in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. Mark 11:24

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

You will continue to be in my prayers! Praise God, cancer is gone forever!!!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Karrmann's, As my family enjoyed an amazing skiing trip to Steamboat Springs Colorado, an amazing thing happened. We reached the top of the mountain (almost 11,000 feet) and all took a deep deep breath...it was foggy and snowing. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for you, Sue...honestly, the fog blew away and the sun came out. At this elevation we were about as close to "the top" as you can get! God answered my prayer with the sunshine and your words....CANCER FREE! Yahoo! We are all celebrating with you and thinking of the too many people affected by this disease. Bless you for all you've overcome in your young life, and for all you will overcome in your future. You are an inspiration to us all....you will make the right decisions about your upcoming surgeries. Hug one another. Kari Karrmann Sides

Anonymous said...

From one who has been there, all future cancer tests will be stressful but you just have to believe they will all be fine. Life is way too short to waste it worrying about things we cannot change nor control. Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength! And remember too, scars don't grow on dead people. Scars mean you survived!!

We love you and will continue to pray for your family.

Susan Thomas

Anonymous said...

Sue and family,
Celebrating and rejoicing with you over the words CANCER FREE! Let the words soak in and reflect on God's power and His love for you. As you face the upcoming surgeries, know that God will continue to show up and be there for you. For now, celebrate life, family, friends, Spring, the sun on your face, the smells in the air, the little joys in life. Don't allow negative thoughts to steal this away from you. You are beautiful inside and out no matter what!!! I sincerely mean this Sue. Please see yourself the way God sees you and all of us who love you. As for what the future holds, not one of us knows what tomorrow will bring. We all can rest in the fact that God does and He will be with us always. Worry only can add a weight so heavy you cannot enjoy the present. Live in the moment Sue, live for each day and continue to lay your trust in your Creator. That is something we all have to do each day. God knows the number of days for all of us and no amount of worry or planning will change that. So smile at your future and rejoice in today. Continue to live to glorify God in all you do and share HIs love with others. You have done this so beautifully in your blog.
I am so excited for this next year for you Sue. God is good.
Love and prayers,