Friday, April 2, 2010

Getting good at packing quickly!

Our trip to Platteville was cut short. We had to come home late last night and after a 5 hour drive we crawled into our beds at 2:00 a.m. The saga began two nights ago....

Wednesday night
I was blowing my nose and noticed in the mirror something dripping down my face. No, it was not from my nose, but my face. I had blown a hole in my face right where the infection is. The skin in the infected area has become so thin and fragile that it broke down and thus the hole. It wasn't a big hole but about the size of a pin prick. I quickly called the on call ENT Physician...doctor said it was not a big deal just keep it covered and apply Aquaphor. If it gets any bigger call us back. I did what the doctor told me to do and went to bed a little concerned.

Thursday day
Started noticing something shiny in the pin prick hole. Thought it was just dried up mucus. Decided to ignore and go on with my day. I refused to let this ruin our weekend.

Thursday night
Just got home from having dinner at Steve's pizza with Jason's parents. Decided to take a look in mirror at my hole to see how it was doing. The shiny part was not mucus, it was the mesh lining in my face breaking through my skin. Now is the time I started to freak out. I had a feeling our weekend was going to be cut short. Called the on call ENT Physician. He called my surgeon. It was time to head home. We needed to see my surgeon in the clinic the next day. I was to not eat Friday morning in case they decided to do emergency surgery. We quickly began packing the car and the girls in their jammies were put in their car seats with a pillow in hand to sleep during the road trip home.

Friday morning
Slept until 9:00. Started getting prepared for possible surgery this afternoon. Got up and started packing bags for the girls to potentially stay overnight at my sister's house. Spent some time trying to organize things around the house in case I was to not come home later in the day.

Friday Afternoon
Had appointment with doctor. It was decided the mesh lining needed to be removed. Now it gets complicated...the mesh lining is supporting my eye. So my doctor will be tag teaming with a plastics surgeon who specializes in eye support and moving tissue around in the face for reconstruction. The surgery will no longer be done endoscopicallly through my nose but an incision will need to be made in my face. At that time they will biopsy the areas that may have cancer. This was a serious appointment and there is a lot more at stake than I originally thought. Broke down crying in the doctors office. The stress finally got to me and I told my surgeon I could not do this anymore. He sweetly tried to comfort me, but there was only so much he can say. He said he would be surprised if it was cancer. But this isn't the first time I have heard this...it always ends up being cancer.

Friday Mid-Afternoon
Driving home from the appointment Jason told me about something that happened to him while driving home last night. He was having a personal conversation with God asking him if this will ever saga will ever end and if we will soon be able to move on with our lives. After his conversation, he saw a shooting comet quickly falling through the sky. An amazing sight he said and confirmation for from God that everything will be OK. I was asleep in the car at the time. Wish I could have seen it.

Friday Evening
Having a hard time finding hope in all of this. Hard to find it when it seems like we consistently get bad news. I know in my heart there is a purpose to all of this, but at the same time I am so frustrated with God. When will he have mercy on us? We are exhausted, tired and drained.

Surgery has been scheduled for this Tuesday at 3:30. Please keep us in your prayers. Pray surgery will go smoothly. Pray for wisdom for the doctors. Pray my eye will be supported. Pray the cancer is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Easter!
Sue

11 comments:

mimi charmante said...

my sweet friend,
please know that you are surrounded by love and friendship, and that each and every one of us are doing all that we can with prayer and positive thoughts to help carry you through this. you truly are the strongest person I know. you know I am here if you need anything at all.
much love,
xx

Jen said...

Sue,

Over this Easter weekend, as we celebrate all the Christ did for us on that first Easter, I will be asking Him to hold you close and be with you on Tuesday. You are always close in my thoughts and prayers and I will be praying especially hard over the next few days for you and your precious family.

So much love to you, Sue!

Jen

Sharon Johnson said...

Sue

You don't know me but I work with your cousin Beth at Wedgwood. Please know that you are in all of our prayers. May God grant you peace and healing. Many prayers for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Sue, You will be in our thoughts and prayers. YOu and Jason are amazingly strong and I do believe his comet star was a sign and you should hold on to that!
Love to you all,
Suzie

Anonymous said...

Sue and Jason,

Our hearts and prayers are with you this Easter weekend. Our daughter Abigail remembers to pray for you every night. Know that we love you and pray that you find comfort and rest in the Lord this Easter and next week. We will be thinking of you constantly.

Jeff and Cindi

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers for strength and peace as you celebrate this Easter and await your surgery. May God hold you in his healing hands.

Farmgirl Paints said...

Oh Sue I can't even imagine the emotions you are feeling right now. The ups and downs are so exhausting for all of you. I will remember you and be praying on Tues. I believe God spoke to your husband that night. Everything, no matter what...will be alright!

Anonymous said...

Sue- My prayers continue for you and your family. May the God of miracles bless you with one this next week. I know you feel that the burden is never ending. We hold you up in prayer and support even when you feel you can't go on. You have been extremely brave and any feelings of despair are very normal. We have come to love you even though we don't know you. We do know your wonderful parents.

Anonymous said...

Sue,
I'm so sorry your trip was cut short. After your last post, I was hoping you were off enjoying time away with your family. Anyways, I've been praying for you and asking God what he wants me to write to you. So, this is what he spoke to my heart. Psalm 23:1-2 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters." God is leading you through these incredibly difficult and trying times. He'll bring you to a place where you can have peace with him, as you look to this upcoming surgery, find that place of peace and rest with God, he will restore your soul, he will take care of you, and he loves you, and he's with you in all of this.
Everyone is getting ready to celebrate Easter, a joyful time, we're celebrating Jesus dying on the cross to save us. When Jesus died on the cross he went through a tremendous amount of pain, pain that I cannot imagine, but pain I think you understand better than most of us. Jesus went through pain, he understands your pain, every part of it, take all your fears to him, he knows exactly what you're going through, better than anyone. After Jesus died and rose again, Philippians 2:9 "Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name." By sharing in Christ's sufferings, I believe that God has great plans for you, cling to him and his promises, and rest in his love knowing that he's loving you and blessing you all the way through this.
You have an incredible amount of endurance, and you're much stronger than I'll ever be.
Remember God loves you, and he's with you no matter what.
We will be praying for you, continuously.
Andrea Wackerfuss

Anonymous said...

Of course we will keep you all in our thoughts and prayers. Jason saw a sign and you too have to believe Sue. It's been a very long journey and I know you are tired. Walk forwards Sue, don't look back, the best is yet to come.

We love you. Please, let us know if there is anything we can do to help out.

Susan Thomas.

Anonymous said...

Sue,
Our message in church today was to pray expectantly, pray with faith that God will heal, pray as though you will receive what you are asking from God. Our Savior that has risen can make this happen, Sue. I am praying on your behalf for you, that this will be the GOOD news that you are expecting and needing right now. Praying health and healing for you and your family.

Love,
Julie