Our trip to Platteville was cut short. We had to come home late last night and after a 5 hour drive we crawled into our beds at 2:00 a.m. The saga began two nights ago....
I was blowing my nose and noticed in the mirror something dripping down my face. No, it was not from my nose, but my face. I had blown a hole in my face right where the infection is. The skin in the infected area has become so thin and fragile that it broke down and thus the hole. It wasn't a big hole but about the size of a pin prick. I quickly called the on call ENT Physician...doctor said it was not a big deal just keep it covered and apply Aquaphor. If it gets any bigger call us back. I did what the doctor told me to do and went to bed a little concerned.
Started noticing something shiny in the pin prick hole. Thought it was just dried up mucus. Decided to ignore and go on with my day. I refused to let this ruin our weekend.
Just got home from having dinner at Steve's pizza with Jason's parents. Decided to take a look in mirror at my hole to see how it was doing. The shiny part was not mucus, it was the mesh lining in my face breaking through my skin. Now is the time I started to freak out. I had a feeling our weekend was going to be cut short. Called the on call ENT Physician. He called my surgeon. It was time to head home. We needed to see my surgeon in the clinic the next day. I was to not eat Friday morning in case they decided to do emergency surgery. We quickly began packing the car and the girls in their jammies were put in their car seats with a pillow in hand to sleep during the road trip home.
Slept until 9:00. Started getting prepared for possible surgery this afternoon. Got up and started packing bags for the girls to potentially stay overnight at my sister's house. Spent some time trying to organize things around the house in case I was to not come home later in the day.
Had appointment with doctor. It was decided the mesh lining needed to be removed. Now it gets complicated...the mesh lining is supporting my eye. So my doctor will be tag teaming with a plastics surgeon who specializes in eye support and moving tissue around in the face for reconstruction. The surgery will no longer be done endoscopicallly through my nose but an incision will need to be made in my face. At that time they will biopsy the areas that may have cancer. This was a serious appointment and there is a lot more at stake than I originally thought. Broke down crying in the doctors office. The stress finally got to me and I told my surgeon I could not do this anymore. He sweetly tried to comfort me, but there was only so much he can say. He said he would be surprised if it was cancer. But this isn't the first time I have heard this...it always ends up being cancer.
Driving home from the appointment Jason told me about something that happened to him while driving home last night. He was having a personal conversation with God asking him if this will ever saga will ever end and if we will soon be able to move on with our lives. After his conversation, he saw a shooting comet quickly falling through the sky. An amazing sight he said and confirmation for from God that everything will be OK. I was asleep in the car at the time. Wish I could have seen it.
Having a hard time finding hope in all of this. Hard to find it when it seems like we consistently get bad news. I know in my heart there is a purpose to all of this, but at the same time I am so frustrated with God. When will he have mercy on us? We are exhausted, tired and drained.
Surgery has been scheduled for this Tuesday at 3:30. Please keep us in your prayers. Pray surgery will go smoothly. Pray for wisdom for the doctors. Pray my eye will be supported. Pray the cancer is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!