Fear

Fear is starting to set in.  I am starting to get scared of the next step - radiation and chemo.  I am so afraid of the side effects that may or may not happen.  I am bracing for the worst and hoping it won't be as bad.  This next round of treatment will not be easy and it will be one of the worst things I will ever have to go through.  I am praying God will spare me from:

-losing my eye sight or my eye

-nausea and vomiting

-the inability to eat or maintain my weight

-severe burns from the radiation

I am searching for the strength to do this and I am not confident that I will have it.  I feel like my body is so frail already that I can't imagine what it will be like after this is all said and done. 

Please God, you put me in this situation, you need to help me get through it.  I need your strength more so now than ever.  This is when I need you the most.  Please God, spare me from the worst of it all and make the side effects tolerable.  God, I am willing to go on this journey with you.  Teach me what it is you want me to learn about my life and my faith, but be there with me every step of the way.  

Hebrews 12:1-3 "¹Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. ²Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. ³Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."