Monday, April 27, 2009

Rough Days

These past couple of days have been tough mentally and physically.  The nausea is getting the best of me and fatigue has set in.  I have never been more weak in my entire life.  Needless to say I am down in the dumps.  I am feeling alone and out of touch with my family and friends.  I lay in bed longing to participate in the activities going on around me, but I do not have the strength.   I am longing for the day when things will get better....

When I am in need of encouragement, I pull out my laptop and read the many messages sent from family and friends.   They uplift me and give me hope for better days.  The other day, my next door neighbor reminded me of a hymn that talks about God's faithfulness and his promise of new mercies every morning.   All that I needeth, his hand will provideth.  Never before has that song had more meaning to me.  Lord God, please have mercy on me.  Please give me the strength to get through this.    I long for the day to be able to laugh and experience joy again.  To play with my kids without feeling sick.  To be close to my husband.  To be a part of life again.  

"He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might he increases strength causing it to multiply and making it to abound."  Isaiah 40:29

I will cling hard to this promise and hope for a better day tomorrow.  I have finished the first round of chemo...


18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sue,

Been praying for you this morning - just saw your post. Way to go for finishing this first round.

Mark K.

Anonymous said...

Finishing your first round of chemo is quite an accomplishment!!! Congrats! I thought about you a lot last week while I was in AZ and checked your blog daily reading up on your progress. I am amazed by your strength and faith. Let me know if there is anything you need. I would be happy to help in any way I can. Take care!! Ruth

Jen said...

Sue, Just know that we are holding you up in our prayers every day. You are a strong and courageous women of God and you are going to get through this. Please let us know if there's anything specific you want us to pray for. Sending you a BIG hug and lots of love!

Jen

Anonymous said...

Sue,
When you need encouragement, just find those beautiful girls. A smile or hug from your child is the very best medicine. Remember you are fighting this uphill battle for them. They are going to reap the benefits of you beating this thing! You are young and strong and full of faith. I know you can do this!Congrats on finishing round one! There will be better days ahead my friend!

Blessings,
Michelle E.

Shirley said...

Hi Sue,

Jen has kept us informed about your cancer and treatment, and I just wnat you to know that Mike and I are praying for you. Mike just had surgery on the 15th for prostate cancer, but he is on the road to recovery for which we thank God. We prayed so hard for a miraculous healing, and when that didn't come we were a little disappointed, but realized that God had it all under control - He gave us a fabulous surgeon (one of the best in the country)and wonderful health insurance that will cover virtually everything. A couple of years ago we didn't have any health insurance, so God's timing in this discovery was again an answer to prayer. Sometimes it's hard to understand why as Chritians we have to go through these difficulties and trials. But we can take assurance that God knows everything and has it all under control. You are His child. Trust Him and rest in His loving arms.
Blessings,
Shirley Waage (Texas)

Anonymous said...

We continue to lift you up in prayer Sue. I had a prayer meeting last night with some people from church and we prayed for complete healing and strength for you.

Julie

Anonymous said...

Sue,
Keep your chin up! I've been thinking of you and praying for you!
Lynn

Anonymous said...

Dearest Sue,

You might feel alone, but you are NOT alone! Even the angels are ministering to you! We love you and know it won't be long before your physical strength returns! Round one DONE!!! And God has spared you some of the more severe side effects of chemo. You can rest assured that prayers ARE being answered! You are in the palm of His hand!

Love and hugs,

Rich, Cheri & kids

Anonymous said...

Sue,
You are an amazing woman! I have been holding you and your family in my prayers. Finishing the first round of chemo is an accomplishment. Congratulations! Things will get better.
Megan

Anonymous said...

Sue,
Keeping up with your progress reports, and they ARE progress! You are an inspiration to me! When I am tired or down I think of how strong you are in this and I get myself moving. I am really proud of you ~ and that you are able to even keep blogging. My kids and I pray for you each night and I have asked my sister in law to add you to her church prayer group. God is listening and I know you will come through this stronger than before. Rest when you can and know we all love you!
Stacy

katestev said...

Sue & Jason & girls!
I am thinking of you and checking your blog daily for updates. You are all strong and that strength will take you through. We all love you and think of you often and hopes that helps you in some way.

Kate

Anonymous said...

Sue,
Just a note to say hi and love you.
Suzie

Susan said...

Sue - when you need encouragement just know people are praying that you don't even know!! Cyper friends are praying that you don't even know. Everyone is rooting (spelled right?) for you. Finishing the first round is HUGE. Your body needs the rest. Stay strong and keep holding HIS hand!!

Anonymous said...

Sue - thought of you again this morning at bible study. Our worship team sang a song talking about God knows you, he cares for you, he will not forsake you in your weakness - I wish you could have heard it! We ended the day with some verses out of Deut. and I hope they encourage you. Be strong and courageous; the Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.

Love ya, Michelle A.

Anonymous said...

Round #1....DONE! You go girl!

Still doesn't help the fact that you know another round is coming...I know. But Round #1 NEVER has to be done again!

You WILL be able to play with those little girls. You WILL be close to your husband again. (And yes, I know what you mean by that one...) Patience was never one of the gifts I possessed either. But as in Esther, the timing has to be PERFECT. Why else would Esther wait to tell the king what she wanted, until the next day? Because a series of events had to happen overnight in order to ensure the decree was to be carried out to the FULLEST extent.

In perfect timing, my friend. In perfect timing. You WILL dance again!

Jami :)

Anonymous said...

Good Morning Sue... was thinking about you this morning... I have FAITH that you will get better. I think you are right about being tested... God does things in strange ways and must know that you are a strong person to step up to the plate once again. You are an amazing person and there are a ton of people praying for you... keep up the spirits... and are you ready to refi yet??? just kidding... just wanted to make you laugh!!! Be Strong...

Sody

Anonymous said...

You ARE strong my dear sister, but you're strong in the LORD. And his power is perfected in weakness. So don't be afraid to boast in your weakness. Wherever you're at, Sue, we will love you and hold you up in prayer. Love, love, love and grace to you. . .

Cheri

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue,
I just want to say I have been thinking about you every single day since I heard the news and I am so sorry you are having to go through this. You are one of the most spiritual people I know, so I know your faith will guide you through this!

I also had to share something else with you... I was talking to a friend about you over the weekend and she said a man at her work was diagnosed with sinus cancer too. She said he made it through all the surgery, chemo and radiation and is still just as good looking as he was before, and now he is fully in remission! After hearing this story I was so hopeful for you and thought you may want to hear it too.

I continue to think of you every day Sue and am glad to hear you got to go home early from the hospital. Thanks for updating us all on this blog. It's great to hear from you and see all the amazing support you are given.

Love, Jen Larson