Saturday, January 9, 2010


Clean house....check
Write lists with instructions...check
Update calendar of kids' appointments and activities...check
Talk to kids' teachers...check
Meals planned...check
Pre-op physical...check
Have a meltdown...check
Pray for healing every minute of the day...check
Give the kids a hug as much as I can...check
Tell the kids I love them as much as I can...check
Tell Jason I love him as much as I can...check
Have another meltdown...check

Checklist is finished...I am ready for I am not. No matter what I do I will not be ready for this surgery. It has been scheduled for next Thursday, the 14th. It will start at 7:30. We have to be there at 5:30. Jason is going to have to drag me out of the house. I don't know if I will have the courage to walk out that door on my own. The closer it gets the more fearful I become. I am trying to hold it together the best that I can.

On Monday, Jason and I will be heading down to the Mayo to meet with two doctors that will be reconstructing my teeth and giving me a prosthetic eye should I need one. On one hand, it will be hard for me to go, and on the other hand it will be nice to see what my options are to put my face back together.

"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26
Look up today, you who are dried and withered plants. Open your leaves and flowers and receive God's heavenly watering.

I have found this to be true. It is an experience that I have never had before. A life changing experience, one that I would not trade for the world...receiving an abundancy of showers of blessing in this season of drought. The blessings have come in many forms, but the most of them have come from people like you. Especially during these past couple of weeks. The prayer chain, the meals scheduled for my family, the cards, the gifts, the words of encouragement...all from friends, family and people I have never met before. I have received God's heavenly watering...he has blessed me with each of you who are a blessing to me at a time when I needed it the most.

You, O Lord, can transform my thorn into a flower. And I do want my thorn transformed into a flower. Job received sunshine after the rain, but was the rain all wasted? Job wants to know, and I want to know, if the rain is related to the sunshine. Only You can tell me - Your cross can tell me. You have crowned Your sorrow. Let this be my crown, O Lord. I will only triumph in You once I have learned the radiance of the sun. - Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman

This is my prayer.

All my love,


Anonymous said...

Oh, Sue! You are such a great mom and wife. I'm glad you've received such a Heavenly watering. May He continue to pour out his love onto you and your precious family.

Anonymous said...

We continue to remember you in our prayers every day Sue. We know it is scary, but we choose to focus on the positives: the doctors think they can get the cancer removed, you have a loving family and huge group of friends to help you through this, and God is in control. God Bless You Sue, we love you!!!

Anonymous said...

That last post was from Derek, Connie and Bella!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue, Can't believe what you are about to go through, but I and so many people are thinking of you and wishing you well. I can't imagine how scary it is to think about what you are about to undergo. All I can say is that we are praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Sue, you are amazing! We will be praying for you all week and in the period of recovery to follow. Hold on to God's strength as you anticipate the surgery, along with the love of your family and friends. God's peace to you.

Jeff and Cindi Stewart

Anonymous said...

Sue, Very soon this will be on your checklist.
We are praying the HUGEST ( a great 1st grade word, don't you think?) prayers for you, Jason, the girls, and your parents. The Lord will help you walk out your door on Thursday toward your future...let him.
Kari Karrmann Sides

Anonymous said...

Dearest Sue,

You will not be walking out that door alone. Jesus will carry you. Jason will be with you. And Rich and I will be meeting you at the hospital. We will keep vigil, and God's angels will hover oh so near. You are loved and protected! You will NOT be alone. And all the faithful pray-ers will channel supernatural strength; they'll be with you in Spirit. May God's grace carry you through these remaining days of waiting.

All our love,

Rich & Cheri

P.S. And yes, "Cancer Free". . . check!

Anonymous said...

Baby steps, Sue. Baby steps.

Will continue to pray you through this "bump" too. May God guide the surgeons' hands this Thursday, give wisdom and strength to your entire team, and calm & ease fears you and your family have.

You can do this, Sue. Melt downs are allowed, and validated. Looking forward to your good news update, post-surgery.

Much Love,
Jami Helvick

Anonymous said...

Sue, you don't know me, but know that the prayer chains are out in the Chicago area. Jesus will walk hand in hand with you into that hospital!! God is still God & he hears your every fear. PRAYING IN THE CHICAGO AREA - CHECK!! Mara

Linda said...

God is Good! Thank you Lord! We continue to pray for peace and healing for all of you.
Linda Engebretson

Anonymous said...

Sue~you do not know me and I do not know you but I have come across your blog for a reason so I am taking this opportunity if this is my calling! Wow, I teach second grade in Kingwood, Texas and fought back the tears as I read this(ok, so I didn't fight very well I was a mess as I read your blog). I immediately started praying for your healing!! As a mother and wife I know your fears about your girls and leaving a mother's duties for someone else why you are out for a are wondering if it will ALL get done?! Please know that God will walk with you and when you woke from surgery you were NOT alone...He was with you! That was your peace. Now, that I have found your story I will continue to follow you and pray for your recovery. You are an inspiration with your strength and courage!! Prayers and yes CANCER FREE!!
Terisa Spencer