Write lists with instructions...check
Update calendar of kids' appointments and activities...check
Talk to kids' teachers...check
Have a meltdown...check
Pray for healing every minute of the day...check
Give the kids a hug as much as I can...check
Tell the kids I love them as much as I can...check
Tell Jason I love him as much as I can...check
Have another meltdown...check
Checklist is finished...I am ready for surgery...no I am not. No matter what I do I will not be ready for this surgery. It has been scheduled for next Thursday, the 14th. It will start at 7:30. We have to be there at 5:30. Jason is going to have to drag me out of the house. I don't know if I will have the courage to walk out that door on my own. The closer it gets the more fearful I become. I am trying to hold it together the best that I can.
On Monday, Jason and I will be heading down to the Mayo to meet with two doctors that will be reconstructing my teeth and giving me a prosthetic eye should I need one. On one hand, it will be hard for me to go, and on the other hand it will be nice to see what my options are to put my face back together.
"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26
Look up today, you who are dried and withered plants. Open your leaves and flowers and receive God's heavenly watering.
I have found this to be true. It is an experience that I have never had before. A life changing experience, one that I would not trade for the world...receiving an abundancy of showers of blessing in this season of drought. The blessings have come in many forms, but the most of them have come from people like you. Especially during these past couple of weeks. The prayer chain, the meals scheduled for my family, the cards, the gifts, the words of encouragement...all from friends, family and people I have never met before. I have received God's heavenly watering...he has blessed me with each of you who are a blessing to me at a time when I needed it the most.
You, O Lord, can transform my thorn into a flower. And I do want my thorn transformed into a flower. Job received sunshine after the rain, but was the rain all wasted? Job wants to know, and I want to know, if the rain is related to the sunshine. Only You can tell me - Your cross can tell me. You have crowned Your sorrow. Let this be my crown, O Lord. I will only triumph in You once I have learned the radiance of the sun. - Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman
This is my prayer.
All my love,