Wednesday, January 13, 2010

It is finally here...

Well, tomorrow is the big day. Can you believe it is already here? I have mixed feelings about it. Part of me is happy the day is finally here. No more waiting. And the rest of me is freaking out, yet trying really hard to remain calm. Ativan is my best friend today. It has helped to keep my anxiety at a minimum. Tomorrow's surgery is scheduled for 7:30. It will be a Fairview University Hospital on the U of M campus. I will be staying there for up to 10 days. The first few days will be spent in the ICU. I have entrusted Jason with updating my blog so that you will all know what is going on. So please keep checking back for updates.

Tonight I will be visited by some special friends and a pastor from our church. I am so thankful they are willing to take some time out of their evening to come and pray over me. I will also be doing a lot of cuddling with the girls as I won't be seeing them for awhile. It will be hard for me to say goodbye to them. And I will look forward to the ritual Jason and I have been participating in every night...watching reruns of Two and a Half Men on DVD in bed. I will rest in his arms and enjoy the humor that we love about this show. It has helped to keep my mind off of things before I fall asleep.

I want to THANK those of you that will be praying for me tomorrow. I have heard stories of people praying for me all around the country. A friend of mine from high school that has been following my blog since day one happened to visit a small church in northern Minnesota. The pastor there was praying for me which caught her by surprise. She happened to be my parent's church whose pastor and congregation has been faithfully praying for me for quite some time. The other day a friend of my sister's sat down with her friend in Michigan for a friendly visit. They both shared a story about a girl in Minnesota having surgery on Thursday that needed their prayer. Amazingly it happened to be the same! I wish I could know how far the prayer chain will reach tomorrow. It is amazing to think of the number of prayers that will be said. I will feel much comfort knowing this will be taking place as I head to the hospital and prepare for the surgery. I feel so blessed. It is a humbling experience knowing that people want to pray for you.

Dark is the sky! and veiled the unknown morrow!
Dark is life's way, for night is not yet o'er;
The longed-for glimpse I may not meanwhile borrow;
But, this I know and trust, HE GOES BEFORE.

Dangers are near! and fears my mind are shaking;
Heart seems to dread what life may hold in store;
But I am His - He knows the way I'm taking,
More blessed even still - HE GOES BEFORE.

Doubts cast their weird, unwelcome shadows o'er me,
Doubts that life's best-life's choicest things are o'er;
What but His Word can strengthen, can restore me,
And this blest fact; that still HE GOES BEFORE.

HE GOES BEFORE! Be this my consolation!
He goes before! On this my heart would dwell!
He goes before! This guarantees salvation!
HE GOES BEFORE! And therefore all is well.
-J. Danson Smith

Dear God, I am turning everything over to you. I give myself to you and trust you will protect me and keep me safe. I am in your hands now.



Anonymous said...

You are so right Sue, God has gone before you and He will be right there with you talking you through it and He will be there when you wake. He never changes and He is Powerful when we are strong or weak.

We are so praying for you and will be constantly thoughout tomorrow and the next day as we have been.

I have a friend who has friend in Texas so they are praying for you too!

I wish I could wrap my arms around you and yours and just give a big hug so know as you read this my arms are embracing you.

Love, The Stewarts

Anonymous said...

I love you so much girl and you will be in my prayers all day long.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sue,

Please know that you are in our family's thoughts and prayers, and know that there are more people than you could ever imagine following your journey, and hoping and praying for you! You have positively impacted my life in more ways than I could ever imagine, and I wish you the very best tomorrow.

God bless you and your family, and we will continue praying for all of you every step of the way.

With all my heart and God's blessings to you,

John Gyurci (and family)

Anonymous said...

Your God created who created the universe has your best interest in mind. You have given yourself completely to him and he WILL take care of his precious creation! Your beauty flows from within you, Sue. His Spirit is being poured out from you onto others each and every moment of your life. I believe that our God will also see you through this all. You are an amazing woman. I know that it brings you comfort knowing that people around the country and are praying for you! I know God will hear that! Just remember Sue, that your life has also touched people around the world. Your story is just beginning and God will receive his glory when you are healed and that day begins tomorrow!!!!

Julie Dahl

Jeremy, Michelle, and Girls said...

Wow, you really sound like you are in a good place with this...a place you need to be. Your strength and courage constantly amazes me. Your girls are so lucky to have you as their mom. You are going to watch your girls grow up, get married, have children and lead God filled lives all because they watched their mom fight this battle with courage, strength and most of all faith. There is so much to look forward to. Believe Sue...your story is just beginning!

All my love,
Michelle E.

P.S. Lucy told me tonight that we need to pray for Sue and for Kendall and Kenzie...oh and "what's her dad's name again?" Oh yeah, Jason! We will ALL be praying! Love you much!

Anonymous said...

I will be thinking and praying for you all day tomorrow. Know that God will be hearing and listening to all of our prayers and watching over you, the surgeons and nurses caring for you, and your family. Much love, Ruth L.

Anonymous said...

Sending love and prayers for you, Jason, the girls, your families, and the healthcare team that will be caring for you. You are in good hands and you have countless people praying for you. Lots of love to you.

Anonymous said...

On this eve before the beginning of being cancer free, snuggle til you fall asleep! Your entry is right where it needs to yourself to your wonderful doctor's hands and to God. They, together will expand your future to limitless possibilities! You will be back at home supervising Jason and the girls and all that goes with being the wonderful wife and mother that you are! My school of 638 students and their families, and 85 plus staff members are thinking of you tomorrow! Please feel our prayers and love.
Kari Karrmann Sides & family

Anonymous said...

You have the strength and courage of a thousand humans. Although I didn't sign up for the prayer chain, my thoughts, prayers, and guidance and wisdom for the surgeons will be with you all day tomorrow. You have given everyone that knows of your story unbelievable wisdom, hope, and faith. Through you we are stronger believers. Your story, although no one would wish it upon anyone, is one of determination, stamina, hope, and compassion. You are an amazing woman with a fantastic family and some truly loyal friends. My heart, soul, and every essence of my being is with you today, tomorrow, and in the weeks and months following your surgery. God bless you and your family! All the women and men who gave you a box of hats are with you and praying for you!

Amy said...

Surrounded. Covered. Protected. Shielded. Sheltered. Comforted. Secure. Future. Hope. Healed. Blessed. All of these are my prayers for you. Holding you close in prayer.

Amy Denzer

Anonymous said...

Your journey has begun today. We will all be praying for you and your doctors to give you the best possible outcome. I am sending you positive and calming energy. You are my hero Sue.

Anonymous said...

You are in good hands with Him dear one! ( i promise) lfting, wrapping and loving you in prayer! hugs hun!
liz wutzke

mimi charmante said...

Thinking of you today, and knowing that you are in good hands.
All my love, and prayers,

Anonymous said...

We're praying for you out in northern CA, too. Your old friend, Stacy Sletten, (my sister-in-law) told me about you on Monday and we've been thinking about you & praying ever since.
Holly & Craig Moline

Anonymous said...

Bless U and your family today.

The Lyghts

Anonymous said...

Sue, I so admire the bravery it's taken you to go through this and be so trusting. God be with you. Reading your blog has just brought me to tears over and over, that you surrendered your whole being in trust and came through victorious. We so need examples like you. Thanks. Will be in prayer for you.

Psalm 41:3

Bea, in Texas. (a friend of your cousin Beth)