Well, tomorrow is the big day. Can you believe it is already here? I have mixed feelings about it. Part of me is happy the day is finally here. No more waiting. And the rest of me is freaking out, yet trying really hard to remain calm. Ativan is my best friend today. It has helped to keep my anxiety at a minimum. Tomorrow's surgery is scheduled for 7:30. It will be a Fairview University Hospital on the U of M campus. I will be staying there for up to 10 days. The first few days will be spent in the ICU. I have entrusted Jason with updating my blog so that you will all know what is going on. So please keep checking back for updates.
Tonight I will be visited by some special friends and a pastor from our church. I am so thankful they are willing to take some time out of their evening to come and pray over me. I will also be doing a lot of cuddling with the girls as I won't be seeing them for awhile. It will be hard for me to say goodbye to them. And I will look forward to the ritual Jason and I have been participating in every night...watching reruns of Two and a Half Men on DVD in bed. I will rest in his arms and enjoy the humor that we love about this show. It has helped to keep my mind off of things before I fall asleep.
I want to THANK those of you that will be praying for me tomorrow. I have heard stories of people praying for me all around the country. A friend of mine from high school that has been following my blog since day one happened to visit a small church in northern Minnesota. The pastor there was praying for me which caught her by surprise. She happened to be my parent's church whose pastor and congregation has been faithfully praying for me for quite some time. The other day a friend of my sister's sat down with her friend in Michigan for a friendly visit. They both shared a story about a girl in Minnesota having surgery on Thursday that needed their prayer. Amazingly it happened to be the same girl...me! I wish I could know how far the prayer chain will reach tomorrow. It is amazing to think of the number of prayers that will be said. I will feel much comfort knowing this will be taking place as I head to the hospital and prepare for the surgery. I feel so blessed. It is a humbling experience knowing that people want to pray for you.
Dark is the sky! and veiled the unknown morrow!
Dark is life's way, for night is not yet o'er;
The longed-for glimpse I may not meanwhile borrow;
But, this I know and trust, HE GOES BEFORE.
Dangers are near! and fears my mind are shaking;
Heart seems to dread what life may hold in store;
But I am His - He knows the way I'm taking,
More blessed even still - HE GOES BEFORE.
Doubts cast their weird, unwelcome shadows o'er me,
Doubts that life's best-life's choicest things are o'er;
What but His Word can strengthen, can restore me,
And this blest fact; that still HE GOES BEFORE.
HE GOES BEFORE! Be this my consolation!
He goes before! On this my heart would dwell!
He goes before! This guarantees salvation!
HE GOES BEFORE! And therefore all is well.
-J. Danson Smith
Dear God, I am turning everything over to you. I give myself to you and trust you will protect me and keep me safe. I am in your hands now.