Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Greatest Gift of All

Lately, the highlight of my days are getting my mail.  Each day, I have been receiving piles of cards from people from all walks of my life.  People I grew up with, people I went to school with, people that know my parents, people that know my in-laws, people that Jason works with, people in my neighborhood, and so on and so on.  Each card brings forth tremendous words of encouragement and bible verses.  I cling to each and every word written; words of encouragement and hope.  I find myself sobbing, overwhelmed by the amount of love that has been shown to me and my family.  It is truly a gift from God.  The greatest gift of all - Love.  What more can I ask for during a time like this?  At times, it is very humbling.  I wasn't always as supportive to many of you when you needed it.  Yet, you continue to reach out to me out of love.  Please know that every thing ever written, whether it was in a card, in an e-mail, in a posting on Facebook or posted on this has NOT gone unnoticed and it is GREATLY appreciated.  

These cards are being collected in a basket and kept on my kitchen counter.  I do go back and ready them when I am down.  They have also been a source of encouragement for our parents to read as well.  They too are overwhelmed by the amount of support given to me, much of which has come from their own friends.  I also keep the many 3x5 index cards inserted into the cards filled with bible verses.  I have taken some of the verses and posted them on this blog.  The one verse that has been shared with me over and over from many of you is THE verse that was given to me during my daughter Mackenzie's birth.  It is a special verse to me and the fact that it has reappeared during this time is confirmation of God's love.  It was also the first verse that I read in my Bible when I was diagnosed with cancer.  My Bible was still bookmarked at the location of the verse so I was immediate led to it.  Is this a coincidence?  Some may say it is.  But I am choosing to believe it is a message from God.  The verse is "But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong"  2 Corinthians 12:9-10   Our family, along with many of you, were witnesses to God's power during Mackenzie's birth and hospitalization.  It is because of Him that Mackenzie is alive today.  Now, through my illness, I am experiencing the same awesomeness of God's power.  

The last couple of days have been a little stressful.  My hair is starting to fall out.  It is making this whole experience a little more real.  I am now feeling a little more like a person living with cancer.  I am thinking by the end of next week, it will be completely gone.  I am trying to prepare for it mentally, but I am not sure one can be too prepared to lose their hair.  I stocked up on makeup so that I will be able to feel somewhat feminine and "pretty" and I have started to practice tying scarves on my head.  Jason has the clippers ready to shave my head when it is time.   

I am having a lot of anxiety as tomorrow's day of scans approaches.  I am hoping the news will be positive and that the chemotherapy is working.  I could use the good news.  Please pray that I will be able to remain calm and feel peace during the scans.  These scans are not fun and the last time I did not handle it well.  Since I have "been there and done that" already, I am anticipating I might handle it a little better.  But because of the anticipation of what the results may be, I might still be anxious.   

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers.  It is so comforting to hear about how many of you are praying for my healing.  


Anna Raese said...

I will be praying for you tomorrow Sue for God's perfect peace.

Anonymous said...

Sue, I am praying that everything goes smoothly tomorrow and the outcome is the great news you are deserving. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and checking your blog, as I do every day and I am so touched by your posts. Take care. Much love, Ruth L.

Jen Conway Gouette said...

Hey Chicklet- I'm thinking of you tomorrow and sending you a squeeze! :) Jen (Conway) Gouette

Anonymous said...

Andy and I will be praying tomorrow! And let me say, I think you have the perfect fashion style and face to pull off lots of cute hats and scarves!


Anonymous said...

Hi, Sue! Hair or no hair, you are a beautiful person -- inside and out!! We'll say an extra prayer for you tomorrow and pray to hear good news that the chemo is effective! Love, Tracy G.

Anonymous said...

And the peace that passes all understanding.....

Steve Tuttle

Anonymous said...

Hi Sue! Good luck with your news tomorrow, it must be so difficult to deal with the anxiety on top of all of the physical ailments. It has taken me awhile to reach out to you, b/c your story really hits close to home. I sit and sob reading some of your insights into life and family. We have 2 lil of our own now, Carson(3) and Piper(8mos), and b/c of your words of encouragement and enlightenment, I try to cherish all that God has given us! You and your family are in our nightly prayers with our children and my computer wanders to your blog whenever it can! May God send you the strength you need, and also send some to Jason as well! Please let us know if there is anything we can do!
Cyndy and Greg Jones
Winona, MN

Alecia Gunderson said...

I think of you often and find myself going to your blog multiple times a day to "check in." You are doing a wonderful job updating everyone what is going on and all your emotions that you are going through. I know it can be tough! I admire you! I BELIEVE it is because of prayer that Mackenzie won her fight and so will her beautiful mommy:) I know you will have every scarve perfectly matching each are beautiful! Stay Strong Sue!!!

Love, Alecia Gunderson (hair stylist~ Lexcy's mom)

Anonymous said...

you will ALWAYS be a hot, sexy, hip, fun momma even w/o your hair. i'm praying for you to rest well tonight and for the scans go smoothly and the results will be perfect.
i always tell you, you are a super strong girl.
praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Remember God already knows the answer of the scan. Rest in Him; He is with you during the scan and He wants you to not be anxious but to trust Him with the results. He loves you and He is right there holding you. Cling to Him!

We love you,
Michelle A. & family

Anonymous said...

We will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers today as you find out the results of your testing.

Brian and Andrea Weber

Anonymous said...

Thinking and praying for you today during your scans. We are praying that God will give you the peace that you need to make it through each and every moment of your day.

Julie Dahl

Maryann Raese said...

I'm praying for you each day and I pray you have God's peace as you have the scans. You are a beautiful lady both inside and out and the Lord will give you His strength each day. I'm sending you many hugs!

Anonymous said...

I am good friends with your Aunt Linda and our family has been praying for you and your family throughout your cancer treatments. I have read your blog and God has sent us a robin as well to nest in our eaves of our house for the first time ever! Everytime we see that robin, we send up a prayer for you and your family. God has perfect timing and reminds us that we need to pray for you daily! May God give you strength, as you give it to all of us!
Debbie & Family WI