Greatest Gift of All

Lately, the highlight of my days are getting my mail.  Each day, I have been receiving piles of cards from people from all walks of my life.  People I grew up with, people I went to school with, people that know my parents, people that know my in-laws, people that Jason works with, people in my neighborhood, and so on and so on.  Each card brings forth tremendous words of encouragement and bible verses.  I cling to each and every word written; words of encouragement and hope.  I find myself sobbing, overwhelmed by the amount of love that has been shown to me and my family.  It is truly a gift from God.  The greatest gift of all - Love.  What more can I ask for during a time like this?  At times, it is very humbling.  I wasn't always as supportive to many of you when you needed it.  Yet, you continue to reach out to me out of love.  Please know that every thing ever written, whether it was in a card, in an e-mail, in a posting on Facebook or posted on this blog...it has NOT gone unnoticed and it is GREATLY appreciated.  

These cards are being collected in a basket and kept on my kitchen counter.  I do go back and ready them when I am down.  They have also been a source of encouragement for our parents to read as well.  They too are overwhelmed by the amount of support given to me, much of which has come from their own friends.  I also keep the many 3x5 index cards inserted into the cards filled with bible verses.  I have taken some of the verses and posted them on this blog.  The one verse that has been shared with me over and over from many of you is THE verse that was given to me during my daughter Mackenzie's birth.  It is a special verse to me and the fact that it has reappeared during this time is confirmation of God's love.  It was also the first verse that I read in my Bible when I was diagnosed with cancer.  My Bible was still bookmarked at the location of the verse so I was immediate led to it.  Is this a coincidence?  Some may say it is.  But I am choosing to believe it is a message from God.  The verse is "But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong"  2 Corinthians 12:9-10   Our family, along with many of you, were witnesses to God's power during Mackenzie's birth and hospitalization.  It is because of Him that Mackenzie is alive today.  Now, through my illness, I am experiencing the same awesomeness of God's power.  

The last couple of days have been a little stressful.  My hair is starting to fall out.  It is making this whole experience a little more real.  I am now feeling a little more like a person living with cancer.  I am thinking by the end of next week, it will be completely gone.  I am trying to prepare for it mentally, but I am not sure one can be too prepared to lose their hair.  I stocked up on makeup so that I will be able to feel somewhat feminine and "pretty" and I have started to practice tying scarves on my head.  Jason has the clippers ready to shave my head when it is time.   

I am having a lot of anxiety as tomorrow's day of scans approaches.  I am hoping the news will be positive and that the chemotherapy is working.  I could use the good news.  Please pray that I will be able to remain calm and feel peace during the scans.  These scans are not fun and the last time I did not handle it well.  Since I have "been there and done that" already, I am anticipating I might handle it a little better.  But because of the anticipation of what the results may be, I might still be anxious.   

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your prayers.  It is so comforting to hear about how many of you are praying for my healing.