Monday, May 4, 2009

Seize The Moment

This is a week that I will truly learn the meaning of seizing the moment.  After getting some blood work done today, I found out that chemotherapy round two will start next Tuesday.  I think I lost track of time because this seems to be a lot sooner than I thought it would be.  So I will be savoring every moment of every day this week that I am living nausea free and somewhat energetic.  It will be my "vacation" until I have to go back to work.  Two of my goals this week will be to exercise and put some weight back on.  I want to go into next week strong so that I will be able to bounce back quickly.  This time around, they will be giving me the first two chemo drugs at the infusion center.  There will be no hospital stay.  I will be at the infusion center all day and then they will send me home with an infusion pump to finish the remaining four days of chemotherapy.  I am not too sure what to think about not being in the hospital.  It has its pluses and minuses.  There is something comforting for me to be in a place where I can get immediate attention from a doctor or nurse when I need it.  But, on the other hand it will be nice to be in my own bed, in my own home and without a roommate that is also going through cancer.  

On Thursday of this week, they will be doing another MRI and PET scan to see how the tumor reacted to the chemo.  I think I am more nervous about the results of the scans than I am of the next round of chemo. I am so worried that they will tell me the tumor has not shrunk.  I am not sure if I will be able to handle that kind of news.  Learning that the tumor has shrunk will bring me so much hope that will sustain me into the next round of chemotherapy.

Today, I had the echocardiogram to determine what has been causing my heart to pound and beat so fast.  We do not have the test results as of yet, but the kind technician who performed the test did let me know that he did not see anything abnormal.  He knew he was not supposed to say anything, but I think God nudged him a little to relieve my fears. So I am just going to tuck that one away and assume everything is fine and chalk it up to anxiety and the medications I was taking.  

So as I am going through this week, my biggest challenge will not to worry about what is to come.  But to take on every day one day at a time.  To seize the moment.  

The manna in the wilderness was given one day at a time.  There was no storing up.  That is the way we must depend on God's mercy.  You do not receive today the strength to bear tomorrow's burdens.  You are given mercies today for today's troubles.  Tomorrow the mercies will be new. - "Loving God for Who He Is" - John Piper

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."  1 Corinthians 1:9


Jen said...

Sue, I am so glad to hear that you have this week to rebuild your strength. I will be praying that you get GOOD test results this week. And that you will have time this week to just relax and enjoy your family. Thanks so much for keeping us updated! Have a blessed week!


Sally said...

Dear Sue,

I love your blog! Thanks for sharing your heart (and journey) with us so we can feel close to you and pray more fervently!!!

Your words are so encouraging and beautiful. I'd love to know where you found that quote about mana. When you have a second, please share.

You and yours are loved and held . . .

Praying for you daily,

Sally Miller

Susan said...

Cyper reader here from Michigan is glad to hear how well this week is going. And your right, build strength!! Praying for scan results to be showing much shrinkage!! Enjoy your week and keeping holding HIS hand =)

Anonymous said...

Good strategy, you can't change anything that will happen next week by worrying today. You rocked the first round, you will rock the second round when its time.

Still praying every day...

Derek, Connie, and Bella

Anonymous said...

Sue, you should know that the people of Whig Church (hear Platteville) are praying for you.
We may be a tiny church, but we have big hearts! Enjoy your week of "vacation," try not to worry too much and keep your faith strong.
All will be well.

Connie Stephens

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the reference, Sue! I am praying that God's mercies - new each day - will sustain you like manna.

I hope you are continuing to enjoy these days of respite. Next week I will be praying for continued strength and sustenance.

Love, Sally

Anonymous said...

I am so glad the weather is cooperating with your week of respite! I hope you're soaking up lots of sunshine, and SONshine! You are continually in my thoughts and prayers. . .



Vivienne said...

You continue to be such an inspiration, Sue. I love reading - and re-reading - your blog. This verse seemed appropriate for your latest chapter ... from Lamentations 3 .. "His compassions fail not. They are new every morning."
Much love, Vivienne

Anonymous said...

We continue to think about you and send you all our positive thoughts. Hayden wants the girls to know she is thinking of them. My sister & mom and dad send their love as well. My mom's church has started a prayer chain for you.

Suzie (& Jason, Hayden, & Claire)

Anonymous said...

Sue, Here's some random thoughts as I read your blog daily! I think you look absolutly beautiful in your cute cap! Also...thanks so much for your vulnerability and honesty. Plus, you are an incredibly talented writer.

Bless you precious girl!