Seize The Moment

This is a week that I will truly learn the meaning of seizing the moment.  After getting some blood work done today, I found out that chemotherapy round two will start next Tuesday.  I think I lost track of time because this seems to be a lot sooner than I thought it would be.  So I will be savoring every moment of every day this week that I am living nausea free and somewhat energetic.  It will be my "vacation" until I have to go back to work.  Two of my goals this week will be to exercise and put some weight back on.  I want to go into next week strong so that I will be able to bounce back quickly.  This time around, they will be giving me the first two chemo drugs at the infusion center.  There will be no hospital stay.  I will be at the infusion center all day and then they will send me home with an infusion pump to finish the remaining four days of chemotherapy.  I am not too sure what to think about not being in the hospital.  It has its pluses and minuses.  There is something comforting for me to be in a place where I can get immediate attention from a doctor or nurse when I need it.  But, on the other hand it will be nice to be in my own bed, in my own home and without a roommate that is also going through cancer.  

On Thursday of this week, they will be doing another MRI and PET scan to see how the tumor reacted to the chemo.  I think I am more nervous about the results of the scans than I am of the next round of chemo. I am so worried that they will tell me the tumor has not shrunk.  I am not sure if I will be able to handle that kind of news.  Learning that the tumor has shrunk will bring me so much hope that will sustain me into the next round of chemotherapy.

Today, I had the echocardiogram to determine what has been causing my heart to pound and beat so fast.  We do not have the test results as of yet, but the kind technician who performed the test did let me know that he did not see anything abnormal.  He knew he was not supposed to say anything, but I think God nudged him a little to relieve my fears. So I am just going to tuck that one away and assume everything is fine and chalk it up to anxiety and the medications I was taking.  

So as I am going through this week, my biggest challenge will not to worry about what is to come.  But to take on every day one day at a time.  To seize the moment.  

The manna in the wilderness was given one day at a time.  There was no storing up.  That is the way we must depend on God's mercy.  You do not receive today the strength to bear tomorrow's burdens.  You are given mercies today for today's troubles.  Tomorrow the mercies will be new. - "Loving God for Who He Is" - John Piper

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."  1 Corinthians 1:9