It's days like these that it is hard to keep positive and looking up. The road seems never ending. It would be nice to have an end in sight...a definitive plan of what is going to happen next. Unfortunately, the doctors cannot give me one. It is literally one step at a time. A wait and see situation.
I just want to feel normal again. Feel like my old self, feel like a human being. This cancer has robbed me of my dignity, happiness and my femininity. It is hard for me right now for me to see the good in all of this.
I pray that God will give me some encouragement today. I pray that this chemo will do its job...get rid of the cancer. Get it out of the orbit of my eye...AND NEVER COME BACK!
"Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O Lord, PRESERVE MY LIFE; in your righteousness, bring me out of my trouble. Psalm 143:7-11