When I first got my diagnosis, my first thought was what would happen to Mackenzie and Kendall if I die? One of my biggest fears in life. I do know that Jason would love them, care for them and raise them well. But there is just something a Dad cannot do for his children like a mom can. I don't want to miss out on being with my girls when they get their ears pierced; when they go shopping for a prom dress, or a wedding dress; when they have their heart broken by a boy; when they go through pregnancy; when they have questions about being a mom to their own children. Who will be a role model to teach them what it means to be a strong woman with courage, strength and faith? I want to teach my girls so many things and be there for them for every stage in life. I have prayed so many times, please God don't take me away from my girls. I want to be their mom.
So today on Mother's Day, I will truly celebrate being a mother to two beautiful blessings that God has given me. It is an honor to be their mom and I will cherish every moment of every day that I get with them. They are so special to me. Mackenzie reminds me almost every day that God is taking care of me. She has such a gentle and wise spirit. Because of her own life experiences, she seems to have a calmness about her. It is as if she knows in her heart that God is there and always taking care of her. She has so much joy that is contagious. She celebrates life which is a good example to all of us...and she is all of this despite the many challenges she has in her own life. Kendall is my high-spirited child. A day with Kendall means a day with much laughter and energy! She has a great sense of humor. She takes on life full speed ahead. She likes to wear dresses and be a girly girl and at the same time be playing outside in the dirt or baseball with the neighborhood kids. Kendall also has a very sensitive side and there will be times that she senses my fear and sorrow and will rub my arm or give me a hug. She never fails to let me know how much she loves me.
So today, I celebrate being a Mom as if it will be my last. And I hope that if I make it through this battle with cancer that I will never forget the feeling that I have today. Especially on the days when the girls are not behaving or following directions. Never again will I take for granted the opportunities that I get to spend time with my girls.
Happy Mother's Day to the many mothers reading this blog. May your day be filled with laughter and love with your own children. Happy Mother's Day to my own mom. Thank you for all you have done for me in my own life especially these past weeks. I could not have made it this far without you. I love you!